The Empty Chair
Simple yet sturdy Fully empty His chair holds Memories His ceramic companion He'd pat and offer a cigarette to Then with a chuckle Pull it away, saying Nah, it's bad for you Early morning ritual Late evening stories He'd sit and reminisce Memories of his childhood Tales of his youth Love for his children What he got right And things that he missed
The house is so quiet without the hum of his machines. I talk to him throughout the day even though he is …. gone.
Every now and again when my phone dings with a notification my mind thinks it's him, texting me from his room. That's what he did when I was down at the other end of the trailer. He would send me something he saw online or ask me to get him something. Sometimes it was to see if I wanted to go out on the porch and have a smoke with him. That's where we visited and talked about old times.
Billy knew the names of all the actors and actresses from shows of yesteryear. He was great at knowing what movies and rolls that they played in. He watched them in re-runs over and over again.
In the chair pictured above, he knew the rhythm of the park. Who came and went and routines of the cars passing by. Never to be nosey, just aware. And if something didn't seem right, he'd inquire that maybe we should check on so and so to be sure they were ok. All from that chair, he kept an eye out for everyone that passed by.
I've gotten rid of his smokes and washed the ashtray out. But I put it back empty next to his seat and his companion of ceramic.
Slowly I have just begun disassembling his room. I kept the door closed mostly since he went into the hospital. That's the toughest, bagging his clothes for donation. Granny came and got them to bring to the senior men in her building where she lives.
When Billy passed, the overwhelming feeling that I will and must embrace life and live each day to its fullest, washed over me. He did. He lived longer than the doctors said he would, many times. We had the last three years of adventure, besides our lifetime before he came to be with me. I cherish it all, even the hard times because love got us through them.
I miss you Billy
I still picture you there…. in that now empty chair. 😪💔
✨Be the Light
What a lovely homage to your brother.
This is beautiful. Your love for Billy shines through from his text messages, the silence from the humming of the machines to the way you keep the ashtray beside his chair is a poignant reminder of the way we try to deal with our feelings when someone we loved dies. My “empty” chair is a photo of my parents and aunt on my bookcase as we all loved reading.
Your piece touched me greatly 💕