Under Seige

To try and describe the feeling under my skin at this moment, is like having millions of mill worms squirming about feeding off what is left of my muscle mass.

Not that I've ever seen mill worms nor seen them squirming, but my imagination pictures just that.

It isn't the sharp knotting pain of a charley horse. Nor is it one I could rub out or apply pressure to relieve.

I've been in a dystonic storm for about 2 hrs. It was slow moving at first and I attributed it to a busy day. Not that I did a lot but was on the go since I had awoke.

I pray the meds will kick in to ease the constant tearing I feel. I take nothing for pain other than extra-strength Tylenol.

The Dr has prescribed a light muscle relaxer to take at bed time but I don't find it helpful.

The carbadopa/levadopa replaces the dopamine my brain (pea size gland in the brain) no longer does. I have been on it since 2009 and I am at full max dose. My tolerance is not what it once was.

Ritary is a super dose I could not tolerate, the doctorshad me try. I was crying, emotionally agitated and hallucinating. That was before Bill came. So I deal with the pain rather than the hallucinations and emotional upset.

Is it the dystonia or parkinsonism? At this moment it doesn't matter. I just want it to stop.

That is today's story. Today started well, had lunch with a friend. I didn't do the grocery shopping but there is another day.

It has been recently that I now get the spasms across my shoulders and up the left side of my neck. Within the last 3 to 6 months.

Lft side , spasms-author

Tomorrow I have two appointments, the pulmonary doctor and primary doctor. I will try to write tomorrow evening after a nap. Those are becoming mandatory once again.

I seem to cycle through stable periods or slow progression then get hit with a turbulent few days or weeks. I'm hoping it subsides quickly.

So I am turning in for the night.

Catch you all tomorrow 🤪

💫Be the Light 💖