Overcast

The sky spotted with clouds greets me with my morning coffee. I am only halfway through my first cup before the day beckons. I get up and sigh silently inside.

Robotically I prepare the necessary that was asked of me. I should have done it last night in preparation of this morning. I did not, I was too tired. I have been falling asleep by early evening the last several days. I wake when my body reminds me it`s time for meds.

I will need to leave by noon. Two MRIs are scheduled. I pray they show something that will aid in explaining the weight loss and extreme fatigue, along with other issues I have been having. Tomorrow afternoon I will have the results at my appointment with the doctor.

The sun tries to peak through the clouds, offering a glimmer of hope, that all will be ok. It is enough to push me to move; to function and get on with living within the right now.

I know he sees my weakness that I try to hide. He pushes himself as not to need much from me. Does he fear what will become of him, if I am no longer here?

I do.

My right hand has swelled where my finger locks. Tendonitis? It radiates up to my shoulder and last night the side of my neck. It`s worst at night and I wonder why.

Overcast is the forecast of the day. Not dreary, not sad yet not eager in excitement. Time ticks by from this moment to the next.

My reading interrupted and focus has been sparse. The words absorbed but their meaning needing rereading and still some pages will have to wait. Until I am in a better head space. Not confused, not lost this time. The river of time is rushing by, and I flow down the stream with it, not taking in what I have seen. How can that be while simultaneously, time seems to stand still?

Grey is the day, that is caught in overcast skies. Let will, be the breeze that moves today into tomorrow’s brighter horizon.

✨Be the Light