Love`s Light
Not wanting to care yet I do Imploding to escape to not feel the heaviness that is another day Would I stay and swim within Where expectations and needs do not need of me, from me No worry No wonder No matter No form Is there such a place the soul keeps loves light Do I want to fight for more Yes but No Let me fulfill purpose so, my journey can end I`m so, so tired my fight about gone Weak is my strength to hang onto will to power me through I only do it for Bill I will do what I must for as long as I must but my soul cries out to THEE Lighten my load free me the pain uncloak my soul at my journeys end Not sympathy Not pity that is not my desire I`m tired tired and my feet sore I`m ready when you are Lord to journey no more
I write away my, self-contempt. I own the feelings of - I`ve had enough. I scrawl them across the page in rage at times. It helps me not keep them bottled up within.
When I was in cognitive therapy in my thirties. My therapist informed me that my writing was how I choose to cope. I wasn`t a drinker, nor drug user. Other than pot when I was young. I am glad I didn`t use either to numb or mask my trauma. I am afraid where that may have led me in life. My fear of doing anything wrong kept me away from that.
I choose not to be on pain relieving narcotics or anything mind numbing or altering. At least not yet. Maybe closer to the end.
What is weird is how tired I am yet here I am wide awake.
Do not worry, I am ok. I just need to express what builds and once it`s out in poetry or prose or plea to the almighty, I release and feel better. Then I rest and fight on.
Thanks for being here along my journey. I`m sorry if at times it is dark or heavy. I try to find light and hope before the end of a piece. Or in the summary like this. I have survived a life of trauma and have come too far to give up now.
I allow myself mini melt downs, here and there. Let the steam off the pressure cooker, so to speak.
✨Be the light


Sending love peace and light Debra. Your pleas are heard.
Warm HugS