Growth is a Process

Taking back control of your happiness, your confidence and your beliefs about yourself, is the first step into growth and to becoming the person you want to be. Not the person you try and project to gain acceptance from others. To thine own self be true, is the saying I`ve heard more than once in my life. Not in a narcissistic way, in a way that you do self-examination in order to be a person who can look in the mirror and love who you see. Deeply not superficially.

Yesterday was another step in growth for me. I took a deep breath and confidently explained my thoughts, my concerns and my expectations of my care. I listened to response without preconceived value or perception. I articulated in a way that did not put the other in a defensive stance but one of mutual respect. I carried myself differently also. I didn`t let the emotional internal feelings lead my conversation but gave those feelings a space to be heard by finding a common goal.

I find I am doing more and more of this. It starts with me and my releasing the future from being interpreted by my past trauma and pain. History teaches, yes that is true, but it does not dictate how/in what way you respond to life events.

My appointment went well and as I confidently explained my reasoning for how I feel (did not lead with emotion-led with logical fact-based reasoning) I was heard and actually commended for advocating for myself.

Also, I am challenging myself to change some choices I make, to ones that I feel are healthier. I need to stop making excuses as to what`s stopping me and my behavior (smoking) based on another's just because we are in the same home.

I am what`s stopping me, I am the one who chooses. I’ve always told my girls: “You can do anything you set your mind to.” I have known this for a long time so the fact that some goals where left half accomplished was the fact I didn`t set my mind into completing them or found an excuse to let them sit.

This platform is a choice I made to pick up an incomplete dream and begin working it into my daily life. Instead of shelving my dream with an excuse, I am following it through.

My only expectations when I started…. to be authentically myself, and to have made a difference. I already feel successful because success isn`t the number of followers and subscribers I have. It is the relationships and interactions of light and love shared already with you all. It is giving of myself on a deeper level of trust, of hope in humanity and the spirit of what it means to love your neighbor as yourself.

I hope not to make any faux paus as I journey out of ignorance of my intellectual abilities. This old dog will try to learn new things or try and adapt within the scope of those abilities.

This life, this journey has been a lesson in love, forgiveness and hope accompanied with faith that with love anything is possible. Even through all the trials and tribulations this life has challenged me with, the blessings have been many and for that I am thankful.

I know, I`ve done it too. Rolled my eyes at people like me. Want to know why? I hadn`t reached their level of experience in life, to know their challenges and how/what they overcame. May peace be with you, in you and come from you.

Last night’s dream- a poem in pieces (I just worked it out below)

I am all that I think I am

I become all that I think I am

You don`t have to be loud to be loved

Nor shrink to be seen

One only needs Love unconditioned

To bring evil to its knees

Love`s law is universal and quantum in scope

Faster that light as it spreads

Peace, Joy and Hope

✨Be the Light