Food Fight

When my youngest was in second grade, I received a phone call from the school informing me that my daughter and a few of her friends were involved in a food fight during lunch. I was surprised to hear of her actions to say the least.

She would, and the others involved, be kept in from recess for the remainder of the week as a consequence to her behavior. This was the school’s punishment and one I agreed with.

However, when my daughter came home from school, we had a discussion on what she possibly thought was right about partaking in such a disgrace and waste of food. Her reply was that others did it too. Not an excuse I explained.

I wanted my daughter to learn that she knew right from wrong and that she needed to make correct choices as to her conduct. I did not raise my voice nor find her tears as a reason to not take this opportunity to teach my child.

If I was to help my daughter through life, then accountability and reparations needed to be initiated and taught.

I had her write a letter to the cafeteria workers to apologize. I had explained to her that she and her friends caused those workers to do extra work they should not have had to do.

She cried and didn`t want to for she was ashamed of herself. She asked me to tell her what to say. I did not for that would have not allowed her to self-reflect and manage how she felt. I wanted her to feel empowered to know mistakes are made in life and it is how we handle those mistakes we make that build our character.

Once the letter was completed, I read it over. My daughter was then instructed to give that letter to the cafeteria workers the next day and I would be following up to be sure she did. Believe me I felt for her and as her mother it pained me to see her in distress.

The next day her teacher contacted me during lunch hour and thanked me. She explained that I was the only parent who took such a step.

That surprised me for the other children’s parents were of higher social status than I. For I was a young single mother of two, twice divorced. I was considered uneducated and my children considered uncared for properly. I fought against that stigma as I was raising my girls. Not having financial means, does not mean what some often assume; that money provides better parenting.

I have had a state trooper at my door inquiring if this same child was being cared for properly. Oh yes and let me tell you I was very straightforward with him. I had seen this particular trooper across the road visiting his then girlfriend.

I was a working mother who had to report to work for 6:45 am each morning. My oldest daughter 5 years her younger sister`s senior had been enrolled and certified to babysit. This certificate was produced to the officer though he said no such offering was necessary.

He was further explained that my oldest was required to be at her school by 7:40 am and she watched her sister walk to my mother’s home six houses down the road, where my mother awaited her arrival. My mother cared for my daughter until 8:20 am where my youngest would walk to school past this concerned neighbor`s home, meeting two crossing guards along her route.

I walked this same route when I was only 5. My youngest was 7 to 8 before she was allowed by “school policy”, not the law, to do the same. Never was she visually out of sight nor was I at 5.

My point to the officer at my door was he needed to inform his girlfriend’s parents not to assume anything and to mind their business if they were not going to helpful. There is a difference in being concerned and watchful for the children in the neighborhood and assuming that a parent is doing wrong. They used their influence to fulfill their curiosity instead of, hmm I don`t know, striking up a conversation with me!

It takes a village was the old adage. That is great and helpful when not abused by others who only seek to judge. If my neighbor truly cared maybe they could have inquired if I needed childcare or offered to watch said child for the hour my mother cared for her, so her walk would have been four houses shorter.

Many of us adults who have been stigmatized as children as being less than have reared our own children to befriend those who are ostracized and bullied. I explained to my girls how I was treated as a kid by classmates and those who turned a blind eye or sat in silence. I believe it taught my children empathy and allowed them not to follow “the crowd” or do something because “others were/are doing it too”.

When we as a society, community or a country abandon truth, morals and virtues for profit/materialistic and cultish ideologies we abandon our humanity and what truly makes us great as a species worthy of this gift called life.

To be of help is to enlighten and to raise up your fellow man. If there is a will there is a way, we can all have the inalienable rights to life, liberty, worship, autonomy, speech and the pursuit of happiness.

✨Be the Light