Fighting the Machine

Yesterday I received my bipap sleep apnea machine. I am not new to sleep apnea having had a cpap some 20 years ago. Sleep apnea is just one family inheritance I have been blessed with. (side of sarcasm)

Last night I looked forward to wearing my mask and hoped for a peaceful night`s sleep. That did not come. The tubing kept filling up with water and I found myself pouring out the contents continuously.

Luckly my brother’s respiratory therapist was due to arrive this morning. After caring for my brother, he graciously looked at my machine. Bless his soul. I would have had to make an appointment to go into his office because I am not at the step for home visits. I lucked out for sure.

He showed me the adjustments I would need to make to stop the water from pooling. Like I told him, I know you can drown in a teaspoon of water and seeing as I already quit breathing in my sleep I didn`t want to take any chances with the amount I found in my tubing.

I`m hopeful that tonight`s sleep will be better and rejuvenating.

Bill is still on antibiotics for the pneumonia and will need more x-rays to check his progress. He`s still holding his own and for that we are grateful. Thank you all for your well wishes and concern, I deeply appreciate it.

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The last few days have been filled with appointments and the necessities of life. I`ve jotted down a few topic ideas and pondered my next few articles. The news, continuous and chaotic, sad and infuriating in its content has my mind racing to the point that I do not want to write from that state of mind.

Another reason I try and calm myself and reflect so that when I do write I have a better sense of purpose for a piece. I decide then how I want to present a topic or idea.

Sometimes the topic or idea comes easy, and I find myself effortlessly tapping against the keys. While other times it is more methodical and requires research and I struggle to convey my thoughts.

What I find interesting and mystifying is that a topic or idea I may be working on or thinking of writing about, pops up in my feed from other authors. I understand when it is from the news of the day, so to speak. What I am talking about is not news. At least not yet.

Universal consciousness I believe it is called. Awareness that doesn`t make the headlines but is thought and talked about universally. The energy of thought that flows from one human’s consciousness to another and another and so on, until the interconnectedness becomes apparent. I am fascinated by the topic and science of it. Do you notice this too?

Are we creating algorithms of energy subconsciously emitting them into the universe? Is that why we will stumble across things in our day to day that support or acknowledge a belief or hypothesis? Do we open a portal or manifest that of which we think?

There is a lot of noise in the atmosphere of thought. What is ironic or more like oxymoronic is that we consciously must filter the unconscious flow of thoughts that contain all the noise of universal energy. Haven`t you ever had a thought and wonder where the hell did that come from? I have, many of times.

Just the other day the song by Bob Dylan, “Blowing in the Wind” came out of nowhere and became an earworm for the whole day. I believe it was around the fourth this happened. I wasn`t in a celebrating kind of mood. I thought about our 249-year history as a nation. I thought about our evolution as a species from the beginning of time and wondered when. When did we turn from living collectively free with respect for the land and bounty that the planet provided us to a species of buying and selling, war and conquest?

We are not more intelligent as we have evolved. We lost our humanity and our natural instinct of collectiveness. There is enough for all to live peacefully with dignity and pursue happiness. It is the greed of a few compared to the masses that drives the disharmony of nature we see worldwide today, in my mind.

The ego derived emotion of dominance, greed and pure selfishness that fuels every single struggle we have ever had. Is it animalistic from fear? At what point do we stop? When there is nothing left for any of us because we destroyed and exploited the very planet that inhabits us?

Collectively, I believe there are enough peace-loving people worldwide that are tired, damn tired of the few that want it all for themselves and want to charge the rest for what should be free. The air we all breathe, the water we drink and the right to exist as who we are. No one country, ethnicity nor belief system better than another. Equal and accountable to the universal existence, called life.

“Maybe the answer my friend, is blowing in the wind” … (literally). Could we, will we hear it and heed it?

✨Be the Light