Creating Respite

It`s that time of year, I tell myself as chills run through my body. It`s been a while since I`ve had a breathing attack of my own. My chest tightens as I cough hoping to loosen whatever has cemented itself into my lungs.

Maybe it` from being worn down from the past 3 weeks. I muddle through the morning hoping I just have a bad case of sinusitis, yet I have consistently needed my inhaler for the last 2 days.

In the past I have had attacks where I could not catch my breath and emergency was called. With my history of pulmonary embolisms, I am not seeking to be put through another cat scan. Besides I have Bill I need to care for and I do not have the time to be bogged down, thank you very much. I say this out loud as to manifest health. Now is not the time!

The dysautonomia has played havoc within my body. I refer to it as the motherboard of my body glitching. Sometimes it affects my blood pressure other times my digestion. I download a patch or fix only to have it appear as a-fib or temperature issues, as I yank the blankets off then on trying to regulate control.

Maybe, I think to myself, it`s the release of adrenaline coursing continuously through my veins for over two weeks steadily that has overloaded the circuits within my brain, and I am just lagging trying to catch up with calmness. Yea, that sounds good. I`ll go with that, I say with a chuckle.

After my brother’s appointment, and we are home and he is settled, I am going to curl up in my chair for a nap. Today will be one of rest. Well, that is my intention anyways.

I am neither sad nor anxious, just tired and to be honest, I just want to drift off into the tranquility of slumber. As I close my eyes, I want to recede to the place in my mind I have created as my respite. An off the grid earth-ship style abode complete with chickens, a milk cow and a horse. There is a lush garden I tend to and water with my water catchment system. I am surrounded by evergreen and maple trees. It doesn`t take long once the picture fills my subconscious before I drift off.

Do you create a place within your mind to rest in during sleep or meditation?

May your day bring you joy, peace and contentment. 💞

✨Be the Light